The Bible places no requirements for age in marriage. It does not give a clear indication about the age difference for the couples to marry. No where does the Bible prohibit marrying an older woman. Since the Bible is silent on this concern, all believers have liberty in this area. Can a man marry an older woman?
There are some matters that are not mentioned in the Bible, yet they are crucial in life. Issues such as, who to marry, the age difference for couples to marry, and detailed instructions on courtship. The reason why God has allowed this to so, if for us to have full reliance on Him concerning every detail of our lives. He wants us to put all our trust in Him and seek Him concerning these matters.
A Christian man can marry an older woman as long as he is willing to love her like Christ loved the church and gave up himself for her [Ephesians 5:25-28]. He should be ready to handle the challenges that come from such a decision, such as the lady aging faster than him.
A constructive age gap.
The age difference should be significant, because a difference of only three or five years would probably not raise eyebrows for most people, but an age difference of ten years or more would probably raise issues. I personally believe marrying a person a woman, 10-20 years older than you is insane and unrealistic, it might be probably out of lust, fantasy and low self-esteem/ self-worth.
Marrying someone with a huge difference means a generation gap. And a generation gap means difference in views, reference points, culture and many more. The two should carefully count the cost and avoid being carried away by the fantastic illusion that surrounds love.
What to consider before marrying a older woman
It is not common for anyone to marry a woman who is 10 years older than him, for this will certainly create an imbalance in the physical and mental relationship between the couple.
We are all aware that it is a generally accepted norm in almost every human society that men should be older than their wives and not the other way round. The couple should be ready to face heavy criticism as many even family members may not approve of their decision. Consequently, the woman may possibly face much criticism and pressure from the society, depending on their culture and religious beliefs.
The woman pays the greater price. As she’s growing older, wrinkles start to develop all over her face, her boobs become saggy and a lot of physiological changes begin to be evident in her body, this may put the young husband off, and he might opt for a younger woman instead. This ends up creating insecurity in the older women as she fights for attention, and this may lead her to a path of depression killing her at an early age.
Women are known to mature at an early stage than men. One should consider the possibility of an unsubmissive [I don’t mean women are lesser beings neither are they of low priority, no…no… The Bible states clearly that we should submit to one another (Ephesians 5:22)] woman dominating him. I personally believe that that leadership/ headship is not defined by age, but rather the role one plays and that’s the order and it will never change. I strongly advise that one should not be afraid that the woman will not submit to them because respect and submission are not the functions of age, they are issues to do with personalities.
A serious one
One should realize they are entering into a solemn covenant of marriage before God, and there is no turning back, as divorce is not an option no matter how hard it gets, they are bound together until dead do them apart [I Corinthians 7:39].
Compatibility — Most important in choosing a wife, of course is compatibility in values, sexually, and interpersonally.
According to a recent medical report by Drefahl in the journal Demography, a man who is between seven and nine years older than his wife has an 11% lower mortality rate than a man whose wife is the same age as him. However, a woman who is between seven and nine years older than her husband has a 20% greater mortality rate than if she were with a man the same age.
Biblical examples of men marrying older women
The Bible clearly gives examples of men who married older women. The first example being David, who married Abigail [I Samuel 25:39-42].
Genesis 38:6-11, describes a scenario where a younger brother continued the family lineage by marrying the wife of his demised elder brother. It was not sinful neither shameful for him to lay with the older women. The law commanded him to marry the widow and sire children for his brother [Deuteronomy 25:5-10; Luke 20:27-31]. This is a levirate Marriage.
If brothers live together and one of them dies and has no son, his wife shall not be married outside the family to a stranger [an excluded man]. Her husband’s brother shall go in to her and take her as his wife and perform the duty of a husband’s brother to her.
The Bible declares that, he who finds a [true] wife finds a good thing and obtains favor from the Lord. [Proverbs 18:22;19:14; 31:10.] It doesn’t matter what her age might be, what is important is for the couple to love and be faithful to each other and keep the marriage bed undefiled.
Let marriage be held in honor (esteemed worthy, precious, of great price, and especially dear) in all things. And thus let the marriage bed be undefiled (kept undishonored); for God will judge and punish the unchaste [all guilty of sexual vice] and adulterous.
My submission is that a Christian man may marry an older woman only if it is constructive, meaning that in the daily life his marriage should be a useful marriage, building up his life, and not making it harder. [I Corinthians 10:23, 6:12].
1 Corinthians 10:23
All things are legitimate [permissible–and we are free to do anything we please], but not all things are helpful (expedient, profitable, and wholesome). All things are legitimate, but not all things are constructive [to character] and edifying [to spiritual life].
Take your time to make the right decision and seek God’s divine council. If you choose poorly, you could suffer years and years of heartache or end up abused or divorced. However, if you select a marriage partner wisely [despite their age], you could enjoy a lifetime together of intimate love and passion.
Age is just the chronological gap between the two people and therefore does not determine the success of any marriage, true love, understanding, respect, commitment, faithfulness and maturity and the key ingredients for a successful marriage.
God bless you in Jesus name as you purpose to do the right thing.