What is the importance of vision in a relationship, and do you have a vision for your relationship or marriage goals? Like in any other institution, vision is the motivating and key factor in any relationship. It is well known that “where there is no vision the people perish.” (Proverbs 29:18, NIV). The same concept is very critical for any meaningful relationship to work. If it lacks vision, it lacks control and the parties involved end up casting off restraint. You can guess what will happen.
The vision or end goal of every good relationship is a marriage that honors God and one that helps you to pursue your dreams, that is being with the person who compliments and inspires you to become the best version of yourself. Compatibility is also key to consider. Relationships require investment, in terms of quality time, resources, and also good communication. But investment without a plan with a clear time frame is almost or even useless. What I mean is having objectives that you intend to sacrifice to achieve for the common good of the parties involved.
These objectives may include: walking in purity, integrity, serving the Lord with a whole heart, and anything else that contributes to the end product- a marriage that honors God and one you will enjoy.
Dangers of visionless relationship
A relationship that lacks a clear vision or marriage goals, leads to a dead-end and many sorrows. The most know consequence of such is fornication/ compromise. This happens because there was no effort of having a goal or even not objectively following your vision. You may still have a vision but end up compromising. Why? because the two parties did not objectively/ intentionally pursue their vision.
Having no vision in a relationship or marriage goals is like going through campus education without any objective or purpose. You just go through the system just to acquire a degree. Most people just found themselves in love, there was no plan, it just happens as they would claim. what do you expect to happen to these couples without marriage goals? they will be living a life of struggle unless they come to their senses and define their marriage goals, the purpose of them being married in the first place, and what they actually need in life.
The other danger is putting yourselves in an awkward position where you can’t explain clearly what you really are engaged in and end up wasting each other’s time and resources. This is painful. You end up being entangled/ attached to a person who is wasting your time and fooling you.
The end result of such a relationship is hatred and unforgiveness that make you mad and heartsick as you try to figure out what really happened. Hate ends up poisoning your soul.
For believers, this is the time when the enemy takes advantage and brings in a state of great depression and agony and you end up being ineffective.
The enemy’s strategy to destroy your marriage goals.
His desire is to hook you up in a bad relationship to frustrate you and make you ineffective in serving the Lord with a whole heart and even from ever becoming the person you were meant to be. I personally experienced this and it is worse, trust me.
Affect doing this, he condemns you. condemnation is the greatest weapon in the enemy’s arsenal, and therefore he will frustrate you because you ended in a relationship that made you compromise.
Having a great vision is necessary but it’s not enough. Involving the Lord in every step is the key to a successful relationship that will lead to an honorable marriage. It is the will of the father to give you the best if only you trust in His leading. It takes the grace of God for a relationship to work, it’s not by our own effort. For God works in us both to will and to do His good pleasure (Philippians 2:13).
Always know that “anyone who thinks he stands should take heed of himself lest he falls.” (I Corinthians 10:12)
Hello and blessings in Jesus name . I came across your blog . I believe I ended up in an unequally yoked marriage with someone whom God did not intend for me . I believe this to be the case . I tried to fight for my marriage through prayer . I know spiritual spouses were involved. I had dreams of them and I had a dream of a man kissing my wife . Well my marriage ended in divorce . My wife filed divorce in December 2021 . It has not yet been finalized. But what advice can you give ? What have you experienced? What do you think of oral sex in a marriage? Is it sin ?
I am really sorry for what you have gone through may God grant you peace. I believe what you mean by oral sex is oral stimulation which is not a sin at all. You can read this article I published last week on whether oral sex is safe for Christian couples.
I will advise you to be strong in the LORD and the power of His might (Ephesians 6:10). God is faithful and will see you through it all. I know it is painful to lose her, above all your soul is more valuable to God than any other thing especially now that you know you have been unequally yoked with a believer. (Read 2 corinthians 6:14- 18, and 7:1). You can also read this article to know why divorce is never worth it.
However, if you still believe it is worth fighting for your marriage, you can give it another chance. This depends on you. This is what the Bible teaches concerning your situation.
1 Corinthians 7:10-17
To the married I give this charge (not I, but the Lord): the wife should not separate from her husband (but if she does, she should remain unmarried or else be reconciled to her husband), and the husband should not divorce his wife. To the rest, I say (I, not the Lord) that if any brother has a wife who is an unbeliever, and she consents to live with him, he should not divorce her. If any woman has a husband who is an unbeliever, and he consents to live with her, she should not divorce him. For the unbelieving husband is made holy because of his wife, and the unbelieving wife is made holy because of her husband. Otherwise your children would be unclean, but as it is, they are holy. But if the unbelieving partner separates, let it be so. In such cases, the brother or sister is not enslaved. God has called you to peace. For how do you know, wife, whether you will save your husband? Or how do you know, husband, whether you will save your wife? Only let each person lead the life that the Lord has assigned to him, and to which God has called him.
If you still love her and she is willing to live with you don’t divorce her.