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Is oral sex okay for Christian couples and can I kiss my wife’s private parts in Christianity? Oral sex should only be used for the purpose of sexual stimulation, and not as a replacement of sexual organs.

The woman’s mouth should never be used to replace the role of her vagina, but only to initiate or stimulate her husband’s body.

While the man’s tongue should also never play the role of his penis to thrust into the woman’s vagina, but rather the man should only use his tongue to initiate or stimulate his wife’s clitoris and not for penetration.

is oral sex okay for Christian couples
A beautiful Christian couple having a nice time.

In the same way, a man can kiss his wife on her nose tip, mouth, eyes, neck, breast, and thighs, in a similar manner he is allowed to kiss her genitalia for the purpose of sexual stimulation, not penetration.

This is what is right within the confinements of the marriage bed, and nothing else. There are specific organs that are meant for sexual penetration, and the mouth is not one of them.

If you are not comfortable with this act, don’t dare try it, for the sake of your conscience!

What is the biblical definition of oral sex?

According to the Bible, oral stimulation is any honorable and acceptable sexual activity done by means of the mouth for the purpose of arousing your spouse; such as kissing the lips, hands, thigh, breasts, and even genitals. There must be mutual consent between the couple and the act should be done out of love and not lust and should reflect biblical virtues such as giving, serving the other’s needs, and not self-serving or causing harm to the other person.

Let me set the record clear. Biblical oral sex as described in Songs of Solomon is pure and done with the intent of meeting each other’s “honorable” sexual needs. This is different from the distorted and defiled concept of oral sex that people watch on adult sites. To make it simple, anything that disturbs your conscience should never be practiced on the marriage bed, as your heart already rejects it. Seek to outdo each other in showing honor and purity.

Oral sex can also be defined as any non-penetrative sexual act. It can be done utilizing the mouth only for stimulation purposes or your hand. It is intended for sexual stimulation and it is not the end means. Remember, the greatest sexual organ you have is your brain and not your genitals. This should not be mistaken for any oral sexual activity in adult materials (porn).

Related: Should Christian couples practice Kamasutra?

Is oral sex okay for Christian couples?

Most Christians will call you perverted when you bring up the subject of sex. We are accustomed to believing that sexual activity is sinful, while on the contrary, it’s a special gift for a couple (a man and a woman) from God.

Yet the majority of Christian couples seek sexual knowledge from the wrong sources such as porn sites. Consequently, bringing strangers and the wrong experiences into the marriage bed.

The fact that you don’t agree with a concept, doesn’t make it wrong. In the same way, the fact that your pastor does not approve of certain things doesn’t prove them to be sinful.

People disagree all the time on unnecessary matters, such as food, clothing, doctrine, and much more.

If you do not approve of oral sex, it doesn’t make it a perverted act, even the Bible approves it. Read Matthew 11:18-19, to see what Jesus taught about people’s perceptions concerning any matter.

Matthew 11:18
For John came neither eating nor drinking, and they say, 'He has a demon.'
11:19 The Son of Man came eating and drinking, and they say, 'Here is a glutton and a drunkard, a friend of tax collectors and "sinners." 'But wisdom is proved right by her actions."

Related: Should a Christian man lust after his wife?

Is oral sex allowed in the Bible?

Is oral sex a sin?

The act of oral sex is intended to ignite intimacy, pleasure, and bonding. If you have not yet tried it in your marriage, consider talking about it with your spouse. You are probably wondering if oral sex is a sin. Here’s the deal: oral sex is not the same as anal sex, as this is forbidden and unnatural.

In marriage, the sex act is designed to express love, not just in the moment but over time. During oral sex, a person is expressing love to their spouse even if they are not in the mood to have sex. One of the ways married couples can show their love for each other is to enjoy each other’s bodies.

To find out whether oral sex is sinful or not we have to consider these few biblical principles. Is the act unnatural, is it selfish, is it healthy, and lastly is it forbidden in the Bible?

1. Is the act of oral sex natural or unnatural?

Unlike anal sex, oral sex is very natural, and the Bible gives instances where it is practiced in a Christian marriage without defiling the sacredness of the marriage bed.

The book of Songs of Solomon and Proverbs mentions a woman’s breast as the center of a man’s sexual pleasures. Therefore, it is not unnatural or a sin for your husband to be obsessed with your beautiful breasts, or vagina, for sexual arousal.

Song of Solomon 7:7-8

Your stature is like a palm tree, and your breasts are like its clusters. I say I will climb the palm tree and lay hold of its fruit. Oh, may your breasts be like clusters of the vine and the scent of your breath like apples…
Proverbs 5:19
A lovely deer, a graceful doe. Let her breasts fill you at all times with delight; be intoxicated always in her love.

Again, in the songs of Solomon, there is the imagery of a woman’s body portrayed in chapter 4:12, and verse 16. The garden that Solomon mentions is symbolic of a woman’s body or genitals.

In verse 12, he says that the garden is enclosed referring to the woman’s purity or her virginity. In verse 16, it is clear he was talking of the woman’s vagina, where he goes in to ‘eat’ its choicest fruits.

Song of Solomon 4:12
A garden locked is my sister, my bride, a spring locked, a fountain sealed.
Song of Solomon 4:16 [AMP version]
[16] [You have called me a garden, she said] Oh, I pray that the [cold] north wind and the [soft] south wind may blow upon my garden, that its spices may flow out [in abundance for you in whom my soul delights]. Let my beloved come into his garden and eat its choicest fruits.

2. Is it selfish?

No one should force their partner to a sexual act they have not consented to. If her conscience is not okay with this kind of sexual exploration, don’t put her under pressure to do it. Remember, the Bible encourages us to outdo each other in showing honor and kindness (Romans 12:10). Also, be kind to each other.

Ephesians 4:32a
Be kind to one another, tenderhearted…
Consider your spouse’s feelings and consciousness on the matter. Do not act out of selfishness, for that would be considered a sin.
Philippians 2:3-5
Do nothing from selfish ambition or conceit but in humility count others more significant than yourselves. Let each of you look not only to his own interests but also to the interests of others. Have this mind among yourselves, which is yours in Christ Jesus…

3. Is oral sex forbidden in the Bible?

There is no specific verse in the whole Bible that forbids oral sex (specifically oral stimulation). However, using the biblical principle mentioned above, it is clear that the act is mutual and sinful unless you force your partner into it.

Many men have a hard time giving their wives oral sex. This can be for several reasons. They may feel it is unclean, or that it is a disgusting thing to do.

The truth is that it really is an intimate thing if done right. Many women might desire it, and it is a great way to bring a little more excitement to your love life.

4. Is oral sex healthy?

The act should only be done under strict hygiene. The mouth contains many bacteria, and there might be issues if your partner has an STI, or UTI which is common in women. Moreover, the act should be refrained from during menstruation.

Oral sex is a safe sex acts you can engage in. The only drawback is that it is not a good idea to brush your teeth right before going down on your spouse’s genitals as that can cause tiny sores on your gum which can increase your chances of unnecessary infections.

Another reason is that fluoride in toothpaste can burn the delicate tissue of the vagina or penis. If your mouth is burning during oral sex, you’ve brushed too soon.

You may also want to gargle or rinse with an antibacterial mouthwash. Make it a practice to urinate after the act, to avoid bacterial infection.

Hygiene is the greatest concern as majority of those who practice oral sex ignore every health measure. That is why I insisted if you are not comfortable with it, then, don’t do it.

Related: Should a Christian couple use role-play in the marriage bed?

How to establish trust and boundaries around oral stimulation?

The key to having a satisfying, mutually beneficial, and ongoing oral sex experience is to have an open and honest conversation about what is okay and what is not okay for both partners.

It is really about communicating what feels good and what does not, what turns you on, what gets you going, and what you like and don’t like.

Remember, trust is the foundation of any marriage. The same is true for oral sex in marriage. It is important for you to talk about this with your spouse and to find out what is getting in the way.

Although oral sex is a term that is typically used to refer to sexual behaviors involving the mouth, it can also refer to genital stimulation via the mouth.

Oral sex is not a new act. In fact, it has been around for thousands of years and has even been recorded in the scriptures. The act is described as an art that “pleases both the giver and receiver”.

Is oral sex safe for Christian couples
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Related: 7 best sex positions for a Christian couple.

When to consider oral sex

It is important to remember that while oral stimulation is a great way to express love and intimacy, it is not the only way. If you take the time to consider your spouse’s desires, needs, and preferences, you will find the process rewarding.

1. When your spouse is disabled.

Life is dynamic and so anything can happen at any stage of our lives. Your spouse might be involved in an accident or become sick rendering him ineffective in the marriage bed. This requires you to be patient as you pray for his/ her recovery.

Meanwhile, you might consider oral sex to avoid the temptation of infidelity. And if you truly care for your spouse, you will help him/ her with his/ her sexual urge, lest you lose her/ him in the long run when he/ she fails to exercise self-control.

2. When you agree on it.

As long as there is mutual consent about the matter, you can consider enjoying the act, it’s pleasurable.

3. When you are too busy to engage in sex.

As a couple, you may find it almost impossible to have sexual intimacy due to unavoidable circumstances within the marriage.

A wonderful thing about oral sex is that it is easy to give, and it can be used as a way to connect with your spouse in a very intimate way – even when you are tired or distracted. It’s a great way to show your spouse that you love and care about them.

Oral sex can also be an essential part of foreplay. Although it may be a more intimate activity, it is also something that can be done quickly.

Whether you are in a situation where you don’t have much time to make love or you are feeling tired, oral sex can be an easy way to share pleasure with your spouse.

4. To help your wife attain orgasm.

As a loving Christian husband, you might find it a challenge to bring your wife to a climax due to health issues.

And because you love her and want to give her pleasure as love is a matter of giving, you should consider using oral sex to stimulate her genitals for her to attain orgasm.

Also, consider dedicating the matter to God for Him to heal you. So can I kiss my wife private parts in Christianity? Yes.

5. During and after pregnancy.

Most men are not able to exercise self-control, and that is the reason why most are married in the first place. In such a case the wife should consider performing oral stimulation on her husband to relieve his sexual tension. This will prevent Satan from tempting him to go outside the marriage bed.

Even though I would encourage every husband to be understanding and learn to control their vessel with honor. I also understand that not all Christians operate in the same grace.

Romans 12:3b
…but to think with sober judgment, each according to the measure of faith that God has assigned.
Romans 12:6a
…gifts that differ according to the grace given to us, let us use them:

What are the benefits of oral sex?

Oral stimulation can be a very intimate, pleasurable, and bonding experience for a man and woman in a marriage. It can deepen their relationship and bring them closer together both emotionally and spiritually.

Oral sex can also be a great way to express love and affection and to show your husband or wife that you love and treasure them. Whether or not you choose to engage in oral sex with your spouse, you can still reap the benefits of it.


It is a fact that most men love oral stimulation. It is true that many women do as well. However, if you are reading this, chances are oral sex is not happening in your marriage. Maybe you are the one who does not like it. Maybe your spouse is the one who doesn’t like it.

Maybe you want to try it but are not sure how to bring it up, or you are wondering if you should even care about it. Is oral sex okay for Christian couples? What do you think?

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  1. I don’t know why you keep referring to oral sex as “intimate”. I think it’s the opposite of intimate. You just have your face stuck next to his privates, servicing a penis like a sex doll, while feeling miles away from his face and not truly connecting with him. Real Intimacy is penis-in-vagina sex. Intimacy is having your faces close to each other, eye to eye, shoulder to shoulder, hip to hip, torso to torso, against each other. That’s intimacy. Oral sex doesn’t do any of that.

    1. I understand your concern. But I believe I made it clear what I meant by “oral sex”. I said it is not deep throat, eating or drinking of cum, and every other nonsense on porn. Kissing your wife’s breast, her hands, or any part of her body is considered to be oral sex in the bible. The whole concept of sex even oral sex has been distorted by the porn industry. remember the greatest sex organ is your brain and not your genitals.

      By the end of the day you are responsible for what you allow in your marriage bed.

      It seems you have been getting your sexual knowledge from the wrong references.

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