What are the best sex positions for a Christian couple? Well, we have to understand the purpose of sex in the marriage bed. Many couples, especially newly wedded and those in marriage for quite some time, wonder what the best sex positions for a Christian couple should be. Some have been taught that missionary is the only available option, and therefore have never dared to explore beyond these boundaries.

best sex positions for a christian couple

On the other hand, others have gone to the extreme of watching pornography thinking it might spice their sex life. However, this is wrong and it defiles the sanctity of the marriage bed.

Sex is a holy blessing for couples to enjoy. It is a gift from God in the union of marriage. It is intended to create intimacy and bonding into oneness, hence fusing the couple to become one thing; even though they remain as distinct people with their unique character and features.

Related: Does penis size matter?

The Bible on sex positions for a Christian couple.

The scriptures give us hints on various sex positions for a Christian couple to explore. It doesn’t set missionary as a gold standard for sex as some claim. In songs of Solomon- which is a romantic book with an explicit description of the sexual act and love affairs – there are various sex positions described by Solomon, which include: foreplay, and oral type of sex.

What to consider before trying out any sex position.

Every husband should be aware that his wife is not a sex toy, rather a holy vessel for the LORD, and heirs with you of the gracious gift of life. She needs to be honored as well as her body. Don’t fall in love only with her body parts but rather the whole person.1 Peter 3:7, “Husbands, in the same way, be considerate as you live with your wives(dwell with them according to knowledge), and treat them with respect as the weaker partner and as heirs with you of the gracious gift of life so that nothing will hinder your prayers.”

Love should be the center of your sex positions and not lust.

True love should be the center/ focus of every intimacy between a husband and a wife, and not lust. Remember love and sex should be about giving and seeking to satisfy your partner and not for your selfish goals. Therefore, never dare integrate porn into your sex life, it will destroy your marriage and soul. for this reason, let every sex position you try reflect honor, true love, and not lust and violence.

It is God’s will that you should be sanctified: that you should avoid sexual immorality; that each of you should learn to control your own body[vessel] in a way that is holy and honorable, not in passionate lust like the pagans, who do not know God;... 

1 Thessalonians 4:3-5

1. Missionary sex position.

This sex position is very gentle and simple and is also called the basic sex position. Missionary is the most common sex position among most couples. It involves the man lying on top of the woman and then making love to her. We are told that Adam laid with Eve. [Genesis 4:1]. David laid down with Bathsheba for sexual intercourse. [2 Samuel 12:24].

a couple having missionary sex
Missionary sex position. Credit: Image by S. B. from Pixabay

Sexual activity in the marriage bed is approved by God and hence couples should feel free to give their thoughts about what works best for them. However, sex is a matter of giving and not just taking or receiving. You should desire most to meet your spouse’s sexual needs, and by doing so, you will find your needs being met as well.

Sex is an art that must be learned and developed with time s to bring the greatest pleasure and enjoyment.

Related: Should Christian men use penis enlargement pills?

2. The foreplay sex positions

a Christian couple doing foreplay sex
The foreplay sex positions

Foreplay is more like the missionary sex position. Most people assume it is, which is true, but I believe it can be taken to another level. Probably by changing the positions, remember sex is an art, so be good in it. That’s the reason I chose to mention it as a distinct sex position.

The missionary sex position can become boring especially if the couple doesn’t do some adventure to improve it. Trust me, you don’t want to be with someone who tells you to lay down like a sack and then throws himself on you. Once he ejaculates, it’s over, he just sleeps and you are left wondering what just happened. You want to be with someone who seeks with all their heart to please and fulfill your need.

Instead of just letting your wife lay down, you can ask her to raise her legs and get between them. This foreplay sex position has the effect of bringing more pleasure as you will be stimulating her clitoris in the process. It also leads to better and deeper penetration at an angle. Trust me, you don’t want to miss out on this. Thank me later.

This foreplay sex position is also called the enhanced basic position. In this position, the woman lays on her back and raises her legs as her partner lies between them, and then she crosses them over his back.

couple doing foreplay sex position
The foreplay sex positions

To make the penetration even better, the couple can apply some lubricant. The woman should use her hand to gently guide her husband’s erected penis into her vagina. This is so amazing trust me. If you don’t have any lubricant you can improvise, use saliva it is much healthier than most synthetic lubricants.

Related: Should couples use role-play in the bedroom?

3. Side–by–side or sideways sex position

This is one of the best sex positions for a Christian couple. In this sex position, the couple lay side-by-side facing each other.  It allows for more body contact between the sexual organs, the breasts and is good for kissing while having sex.

This is recommended especially if you want to avoid putting your weight on your wife. However, it is generally good for all couples to explore.

4. The stimulation sex position

couple doing stimulation sex position
The stimulation sex position

In this beautiful sex position, the woman raises her legs so that they rest on her husband’s shoulders. Then the man penetrates his beautiful wife. This sex position can be very useful especially if your husband has an issue sustaining an erection longer, due to medical issues. Therefore, the wife should be very understanding and loving and seek to meet his sexual need.

5. Edge of the bed sex position

In this position, the woman lies down on the bed, with her buttocks at nearly the edge of the bed. The man stands on the ground and can penetrate her while standing. The man can lift his wife’s legs for better and deeper penetration.

6. The standing sex positions

couple doing standing sex positions
The standing sex positions

This may include both the front-standing sex position and the back-standing sex position. However, I recommend the front-standing position as it is more intimate and allows for contact with your spouse.

The sex position is best especially when you are in the bathroom. The woman can make it more exciting by lifting one of her legs.  You gaze at each other’s eyes and can kiss and also caress at the same time.

The back-standing position is more like the doggy style which is not a recommended sex position for a Christian couple. It can lead to penis fractures. It is also tiring and has a bad penetration experience. It is more of an animal-like act.

7. Oral type of sex

Oral sex is not a sex position, rather a type of sex. Since the sexual excitement in a woman builds slower, oral sex is effective in aiding your wife to reach an orgasm. This is achieved by caressing her body gently, beginning with her boobs and then every other part of her juicy body. You can also kiss and sweet talk to her in the process.

Christian couple doing oral sex
Oral sex.

Stimulate her nipples and clitoris with either your figure or tongue to achieve the best result.  If you use your tongue make sure to use antibacterial mouthwash before and afterward. Likewise, the woman should also suck her husband’s penis to arouse him.

Oral sex is evident in the Bible especially when Solomon describes his woman as a palm tree. And her breast like the clusters of palm fruits. For that reason, he would climb the palm tree to hold her breast. [Songs of Solomon 7:7-9] [Proverbs 5:19].

Related: Is oral sex safe for Christian couples?

Oral sex is a matter of personal test and preference and therefore you should not force your spouse to consent if they are not comfortable doing it. Remember sex in the marriage bed is about love and not lust. It may also involve some risks, especially mouth infection.

9. Is it okay for a woman to be on top of the man during sex?

In Ephesians 5:22, the Bible declares that “Wives, submit yourselves unto your husbands, as unto the Lord.” From this biblical principle, we understand that God intended for the man to be in control of the whole intimacy process, to seek to fulfill his wife’s desires sexually, and not a woman being in charge of the sex process. some sex positions are from the pit of hell, designed to corrupt God’s design of intimacy between a husband and a wife.

A truly submissive woman will not find it hard to let her husband take control during intimacy. However, if the sex position is done with the knowledge that the man is responsible and the wife is submissive it is not a sin. This can be done in unavoidable cases where due to health conditions the man can not be on top of his wife during intimacy.

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4 Comments

    1. Mary, God’s forgiveness is available for anyone who is humble, and willing to submit to His will. I think your dominance issue might be rooted in pride, as you are not willing to humble yourself enough to let your husband take the lead in making love to you.

      It’s more of an heart issue, therefore pray and repent and be more willing to submit to your husband, just as you would submit to Jesus Christ.

      If your spouse is not that good in bed, you should have an open conversation and tell him what you would desire and then help each other grow in this area.

      May God help you and bless you.

  1. I appreciate the reference verses that clearly stress the points. We pondered over this issue with my wife and finally agreed that people are different and have different positions for love making.
    I totally agree with you about anal sex being sinful. Thank you for the article.

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