My husband is forcing me to have anal sex, what should I do?
Anal sex is degrading and sinful. It is more of an act of rape and wives who have had the experience report feelings of violation and misuse. It is an abuse of God’s gift of sex in a marriage for He designed special, special, and beautiful organs for couples to enjoy intimacy.
Anal sex whether performed on a woman or man remains to be a sin as it is an act of sodomy. No mutual consent can justify it by any means, as you cannot justify what is already condemned and an abomination before The living God. No woman should allow her body to be violated under the pretext of saving her marriage or being submissive. Remember, forbidden waters are sweet but lead to death.
“Stolen water is sweet, and bread eaten in secret is pleasant.” But he does not know that the dead are there, that her guests are in the depths of Sheol.
What does the bible say about anal sex?
Anal sex may not be as popular as vaginal sex but that does not mean that it is not performed by couples who are in a monogamous relationship either Christians or not.
We already know that anal sex degrades a woman’s body which is the Holy temple of the Holy Spirit. I am going to use some biblical principles below to expound on why any couple whether Christian or not should ever even think of anal sex. And this is why;
a) Does the act of anal sex honor your partner?
The act of anal sex does not portray honor to your partner whom Christ redeemed with His own precious blood. It degrades her as a sex toy and objectifies her as though the only thing she can offer is sex. You are treating your wife worse than a whore and not as a co-heir with Christ in the eternal kingdom of heaven.
Let love be genuine. Abhor what is evil; hold fast to what is good. Love one another with brotherly affection. Outdo one another in showing honor.
b) Does anal sex express kindness to your spouse?
Love should be genuine between a couple and sex should be used to express kindness to her by meeting her God-given sexual desires. The husband’s love should be modeled from Christ who loved His bride to the extent of giving himself up for her and treating her with consideration and kindness. (Ephesians 5:25-28).
Do nothing from selfish ambition or conceit but in humility count others more significant than yourselves. Let each of you look not only to his own interests but also to the interests of others.
c) Is the act of anal sex sacrificial/ self-giving?
Anal sex is a selfish act as the husband only seeks to meet his need at the expense of his wife’s desires and health. He is imposing his lustful, demonic fantasies drawn from pornography on her body. As if her body is an experimental ground for sexual lewdness.
God intended sex to be an act of self-giving as your goal is to make your spouse satisfied and happy, and not seek to use that as an opportunity to play your dirty games. As much as the bible teach that her body belongs to you as well as yours belong to her (1 Corinthians 7:3-6), that is not a justification to misuse the freedom God has given you in the marriage bed.
For you were called to freedom, brothers. Only do not use your freedom as an opportunity for the flesh, but through love serve one another.
Love her and Christ enough to overcome the temptation of abusing God’s given gift of sex in marriage. The act of sex is to be enjoyed by the couple and to be an expression of their love for each other.
d) Is the act of anal sex pleasurable?
Sex was intended to be intimate, very pleasurable, and holy. Anal sex is the opposite. It is extremely painful, shameful, abusive, dirty, and degrading. There is no joy in the act. God created the anus as an exit only. He did not create it for sexual stimulation or as a pleasure center.
The health risk of anal sex
The anus is not meant for penetration. God designed it for the elimination of waste and not for sexual pleasure. The anus is not elastic like the vagina but is a rigid muscle that is made to squeeze in and push out.
This makes it vulnerable to tearing, which can lead to bleeding and the transmission of STDs. Again, the anus is not self-lubricating, therefore it needs to be lubricated artificially and the lack of lubrication can lead to tearing and injury, which can also increase the risk of infection.
Additionally, it does not naturally produce the chemicals needed to fight off infection. The rectal tissue is thin and delicate and can easily be injured. The act of sodomy, no matter how you justify it, is a violation of the sacredness of sex.
God designed sexual intercourse to be enjoyed only within the biblical boundaries in marriage. Sodomy is an unnatural act, which causes physical damage to the body and destroys the soul (Leviticus 20:13).
For this reason, God gave them up to dishonorable passions. For their women exchanged natural relations for those that are contrary to nature; and the men likewise gave up natural relations with women and were consumed with passion for one another, men committing shameless acts with men and receiving in themselves the due penalty for their error.
Does anal sex harm our relationship with Christ?
The act of anal sex doesn’t demonstrate the love and relationship between Christ and His bride, because of what it does to the individuals, as it destroys their souls. Since the act is sinful, it distances the couple from Christ, as that is not what God modeled marriage to be. (Isaiah 59:1-2).
How do you expect to be on the right terms with Jesus Christ when you are hurting and misleading your wife and degrading her body? Don’t you know that your prayers as a husband will be hindered because of the way you treat your wife?
1 Peter 3:7
Likewise, husbands, live with your wives in an understanding way, showing honor to the woman as the weaker vessel, since they are heirs with you of the grace of life, so that your prayers may not be hindered.
Related: Should a man lust after his wife?
Does anal sex violate the sacredness of the sex?
Anal sex violates the sacredness of sex, as it makes it a tool for self-gratification which is against biblical teachings. The act is not safe for anyone, it is a violation of the sacredness of the marriage bed, and it is a sin of selfishness.
As Christians, we must not forget that God created sex to be something special just between a man and a woman in the covenant of marriage. He intended it to be enjoyable and pleasurable and something you should want to do every time you get the chance, but also something that you should want your partner to want to do every time you get the chance.
How to stop having anal sex in marriage?
This sin reflects the state of your heart, as it is corrupted by sin. Therefore, the cleansing process needs to begin from the inside out. Begin by dealing with your thoughts. Let them be transformed by the word of God which is a cleanser (Romans 12:1-2, John 17:17).
If you are an addict to porn it is high time to quit for good and seek deliverance. Avoid any negative influence from friends who do not uphold biblical values (1 Corinthians 15:33). And finally, seek true fulfillment in Christ and not sexual pleasures (Colossians 3:1-3).