Are sex toys allowed in a Christian marriage?
Is it okay to use sex toys in a Christian marriage? Are you a Christian couple looking to find fulfillment in your marriage through sexual intimacy, but you are not sure if it is okay to use sex toys in a Christian marriage, or you have been thinking of incorporating sex toys in your marriage bed but you are not sure if sex toys are allowed in a Christian marriage?
Even though the Bible does not mention anything about the use of sex toys in marriage, it is wrong as it replaces your sexual affection from your spouse. If you can no longer satisfy your spouse to the extent that you need sex toys, it is a sign of bondage. Eventually, you will realize you no longer need your spouse to achieve sexual pleasures, and this is sinful as it is egocentric and does not seek to meet the need of your partner. Remember marriage is designed to serve each other in humility and love.
Do nothing from selfish ambition or conceit, but in humility count others more significant than yourselves. Let each of you look not only to his own interests, but also to the interests of others.
For you were called to freedom, brothers. Only do not use your freedom as an opportunity for the flesh, but through love serve one another.
Scriptures encourage us in Romans 12:9 that “let Love be genuine; hate what is evil, hold fast to what is good.” Ask yourself does genuine love replace its affection for an object the way sex toys make you do, are you holding fast to what is good -the pure love you have for each other- and honorable, or you have become obsessed with meeting your need to the extent you embrace what is evil?
The other part of this verse in Romans 12:10 urges us “to outdo one another in showing honor”. Are you intentionally outdoing each other is showing affection and honor in the marriage bed, or do you think it is honorable to achieve sexual intimacy through artificial means? Is it honorable to insert foreign materials (sex toys) in your wife’s vagina by any means? Think of these things and treat each other’s bodies as temples of the Holy Spirit.
Sex toys defile the marriage bed.
The use of sex toys is the equivalent of introducing a third party into your marriage bed just as those who use porn to spice their sex life. The reason is that just like porn, in the long run, sex toys will eventually replace your affection for your spouse and bind you to the sin of masturbation. In the first place, where did you get the idea of using sex toys to spice your sex intimacy?
There are many ways to revive your marriage as a couple but porn and sex toys are not included in that list. You can check my recommended list of best sex positions for Christian couples this will change the way you perceive Christian sexual relationships between a couple.
The use of sex toys in a Christian marriage leads to bondage.
Again, the problem with sex toys is that their use is addictive and alters the way you have been experiencing intimacy. Eventually, you might be forced to integrate them into your sex life due to the false perception that you cannot have a fulfilling and exciting sexual experience without them. Remember at this time you have become too used to them and it is difficult to do away with them. This by itself is bondage, while Christ has called us to freedom.
I always encourage couples to use oral sex and try different styles to spice their sexual intimacy. And when I talk of oral sex, I don’t refer to deep throat, drinking or eating of cum, penetration by use of the tongue, or anything motivated by lust and pornographic materials. Remember your spouse’s body is Holy and should be treated with dignity.
Others might argue that the use of sex toys is okay as long as there is mutual consent between the couple. Consent is key but it is not the only factor to consider as there are couples who consent to anal sex and that does not make the sinful act right. Examine your heart lest you fall into deception. Stop abusing God’s precious gift of sexual intimacy. Sex between a couple is intended to expose us to each other, a means to express love, and glorify God by emulating the intimacy Christ has with His bride- the church.