Is kissing while dating wrong? Kissing is one of the many ways to show affection to a loved one. Whether it’s right to do it while dating, greatly depends on the culture, the setting, and where it is happening [i.e. location e.g a room or in the open field]. In some cultures, kissing is used as a form of greetings. However, in other cultures, it is deemed taboo to kiss, and it is strictly reserved for marriage.
As Christians, kissing may not be an issue, but for the sake of our own conscience and that of others [Especially new converts], we should reconsider. If kissing disturbs your conscience, why then do it in the first place. Christ has called us to serve Him with a clear conscience[II Timothy I:3] and anything that defiles the purity of our conscience and body should be refrained from.
Is kissing a sin?
Kissing by itself is not a sin at all. It’s one of the best things to do while creating intimacy with your partner. However, it depends on the ground you are doing it. Is it within the confinement of marriage or while dating? Also, it depends on your motive for kissing, are you doing it out of lust or love?
If you are married, then consider kissing as a key tool to arouse your partner. Within the marriage bed, it is a holy thing.
On the other side, kissing in Christian dating is a sin if you are doing it while dating. This is because it creates a point of contact for temptation and demonic attack. However, this may depend on whether you are kissing out of lust or love. The best thing is to avoid kissing before marriage. You will be saving yourselves out of great troubles, as well as saving your future marriage.
Kissing is intended to create and stimulate sexual desires and it’s not for fun. Kissing while dating may end up arousing your partner, leading them to have lustful thoughts, and eventually sinning. You may not sin physically, but the thoughts you entertain may ensnare you in the long run.
Kissing is not a sin, it is what it does if done in the wrong way that makes the act sinful, and a stabling block in your Christian dating.
But I don’t have a problem kissing while dating!
Kissing while dating might not be a big deal to you. This greatly depends on the environment you were raised in. However, the same might not be the case with your partner. To some people kissing is a marital activity that should only be done within the confinement of the marriage bed.
In simple terms, what seems right to you might not be right to another person. Consider their conscience first, and don’t cause your partner to compromise their Christian values for the sake of ‘love’. Avoid being overconfident. Don’t trust your flesh at all.
The setting really matters a lot. If I was to kiss my woman in the open field, just a simple kiss, this will not spark any issues as both of us will be doing it while being accountable to those around us. Consequently, if we were to kiss in a closed room, the chances for us compromising are high, since there is no accountability, and we have created the conditions suitable for our downfall, giving the enemy an opportunity. [I Timothy 5:14].
The apostle Paul warns us, that if anyone thinks he is standing, he should take heed lest he falls. (I Corinthians 10:12). No one is mature enough to overcome sin, it’s The blood of Jesus Christ that helps us to overcome evil.[James 4:7-8]. This self-confidence is just but false confidence that only leads to self-destruction.
Kissing before marriage might not be the actual problem here.
The biggest problem in our generation is lust. We have an issue with differentiating between love and lust. We most often fall in love out of lust and this by itself creates serious challenges. We find it difficult to maintain sexual purity as we lack self-control. We don’t define physical boundaries in our relationships and the result is sin.
Check your motives. Do you kiss before marriage to satisfy your lustful appetites or to meet your partner’s need for sexual intimacy? Of which both are wrong.
I believe if you truly love someone you will first seek to protect them from yourself. This is what true love is all about, self-sacrifice. You have to die to self. Stop prioritizing your needs. Seek to prioritize your purity goals in your Christian dating.
Considering others conscience
I Corinthians 8, describes a detailed discussion on a matter Paul was handling in the church at Corinth. It was a matter concerning foods offered to idols. He warns us who are men of knowledge to avoid doing anything [not because it is wrong] that can wound the conscience of the weak brethren. Anything we do that causes brethren to stumble is considered to be sinful, and therefore we sin against Christ. [I Corinthians 8:10-13].
Again Paul presents the same case in I Corinthians 10:25-26.
[As to meat offered to idols] eat anything that is sold in the meat market without raising any question or investigating on the grounds of conscientious scruples, For the [whole] earth is the Lord’s and everything that is in it. [Ps. 24:1; 50:12.]1 Corinthians 10:25-26
Does Paul contradict himself? No. In this case, he is advising us to eat whatever is sold In the market without raising any questions on the ground of conscience. For the earth is the LORD’S and anything in it. But if anyone has knowledge of what is offered before him as having been offered in sacrifice to demons, then on this ground he should not eat. [1 Corinthians 10:27-29].
Paul’s conclusion on this matter is that whatever we do, we should do it for the glory of God. [I Corinthians 10:31]
Therefore if you think that whatever you do is honorable to The LORD, then do it for His glory. Whether to kiss or not, it all depends on you. Think about it.
A personal experience on Christian dating.
I once was in a relationship in which we maintained all the physical boundaries and walked in absolute purity. However, the relationship didn’t work out because it was out of God’s Will. Then after a year and a half, I dated another lady. By this time, I had overconfidence in myself and thought I couldn’t compromise because I had not messed up in the first relationship.
Consequently, I become less cautious in the new relationship. Eventually, I found myself compromising, kissing, caressing, and all manner of stuff. However, we never had sexual relations. But the truth is that by the end of the day I had broken almost all physical and sexual boundaries. I realized how stupid it was to put confidence in myself and my flesh. [Proverbs 28:26, 1 Corinthians 10:12].
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