Have you ever asked yourself how long should Christians date before marriage? Some people go on for years, others for months, and others for just weeks. While there is no formula for “the perfect time frame” to marry your partner, I believe that if you are dating intentionally and not just for fun, then 6 months to a year is enough duration to get to know each other better and decide to get married.
Being with someone for many years doesn’t always guarantee you will marry him/ her. Trust me on this, most long-distance relationships and lengthy relationships don’t work at all. However, every relationship is unique for God writes our stories differently.
If you are dating with the purpose of marriage, six months to a year is generally enough time to assess compatibility and spiritual alignment. Prolonged dating can lead to unnecessary temptations and complications.
The problem with long dating duration is the temptation to fornicate due to a lack of self-control. You have already come to know each other and what you want in life, why keep waiting? As Paul taught, get married instead of burning with passion and tempting yourselves. Remember dating should be intentional and not for fun.
If you truly want to honor God in marriage, don’t overstretch your dating/ courtship duration. Seek to respect each other’s interests in Christian dating and protect your goal of sexual purity.
Related: Can a man marry an older woman?
How long should Christians date before marriage?
Some suggest “as long as you possibly can before marriage.” But I don’t believe that’s the best answer. I think the best answer is, “as long as you need to.” Why? Because everyone is different, every couple is unique. Some couples need to date for a year before marriage, while others need only a few months. The key is to look at the reason you’re dating and the reason you want to marry someone.
According to the statistics of the National Marriage Project, the average length of dating is about 2.5 years. However, if you are an active Christian, this number is likely far lower. The reason for this is that Christians tend to marry their prospective mates much earlier than non-Christians. Today, it is not uncommon for Christians to marry their mates after only 12 months of dating.
The reason for this is that Christians are much more selective about who they date, marry and have children with. In other words, Christians tend to be a lot more careful about who they date and marry. Therefore, the average time to date before marriage for Christians is more like a year, and sometimes even less.
Related: What to know about Christian women before marriage.
Is 3 months of dating too soon to propose?
I strongly believe that six months to a year of dating is enough time to know if you are going to spend the rest of your life with someone if you are dating intentionally. If you are not sure that your partner is the right one for you, then you should take longer to get to know them.
Some people believe that you must know that you are going to spend the rest of your life with someone before you get married to them. Some people say that you should know that you are going to marry someone after dating them for a year. However, three months is a rush for most people, and you need to be careful and take your time, lest you be fooled by the fantastic illusion of love.
Related: What to know about Christian men before marriage.
How long should Christians date before marriage in their 20’s?
When you’re in your 20s, it’s hard to know how long you should date before getting engaged. You’re just starting to explore your own personality, and there are so many opportunities for you to find out who you really are. Just take your time and establish yourself and mature first.
It’s important to consider your financial situation, and whether or not you’re ready to take on the responsibilities of marriage. Also, this can be a disadvantage for your spiritual growth as it might open doors for sexual sins. Don’t awaken love before its due season, it will mess you up and break your heart for no reason. Make your priorities right. (Song of Solomon 2:7, 8:4).
Song of Solomon 8:4
I adjure you, O daughters of Jerusalem, that you do not stir up or awaken love until it pleases.
How long should Christians date before marriage in their 40’s and 50’s?
When it comes to old people in their 40s – 50’s and dating, I believe that the average time for them to date before marriage is around 6 months. After all, time is far much spent already and you know what you want in a partner, so there is no need to waste time trying to impress someone for more than 6 months. It is not time to behave like a person in their twenties.
1 Corinthians 14:20
Brothers, do not be children in your thinking. Be infants in evil, but in your thinking be mature.
Factors that affect dating duration.
Dating is becoming more complex as we progress as a society, with dating apps and mid-week dates, it’s no surprise that the average dating duration is falling. So, what are the factors that affect dating duration? Do you know how long is your dating duration?
- The type and nature of your relationship.
- Your maturity as different people mature at different stages in life.
- The person you are dating. If you are still experiencing a lot of change in your life, you may want to wait until you are more established before you commit to marriage. That is not to say you shouldn’t date at all, but timing is everything.
- Your experience in previous relationships. If you had been divorced or heartbroken recently, it is wise to take your time to heal and get over the trauma.
- The culture that you belong to. Some cultures practice arranged marriages at a very early age.
- Time you spend on your studies.
- The duration it takes to be employed.
- Your level of income. Are you financially dependent?
- Your priorities. (Your goals).
- The couple’s level of commitment.
- Your religion. Some religion prohibits early marriages.
- Your values.
Related: Can you marry someone who is not a virgin?
Avoid Rushing, but Don’t Delay Unnecessarily
While you should not rush into marriage without careful consideration, delaying too long can create unnecessary difficulties. The key is to seek God’s wisdom and guidance.
Proverbs 3:5-6
"Trust in the Lord with all your heart and lean not on your own understanding; in all your ways submit to Him, and He will make your paths straight."
Conclusion.
The first step to determine how long you will date before marriage is to evaluate your relationship. If you are not sure if you are ready for marriage, then you should not be in a rush to get married. You need to make sure that you have a clear understanding of your partner and know the person well. Know if he or she is the right person for you. If you are not sure, then you can take your time and take things slow.
I hope you enjoyed this article about how long you should date before marriage. I appreciate your time and I hope this was informative! If you have any other questions or concerns about getting married, please contact me anytime. Thank you for reading, I am always excited when one of my posts is able to provide useful information on a topic like this!
