Can you marry someone who is not a virgin? Yes, you can marry anyone despite their past mistakes. Love is never about what you can receive, but rather what you can give, especially to those undeserving.
If you love someone for what they can offer you, then that is not true love, but a reward mechanism. True love should cost you, just as it cost Christ His life for wrecked people like us. Did we deserve His love? No, but He still gave up Himself for us as a living sacrifice to God.
Romans 5:8
but God shows his love for us in that while we were still sinners, Christ died for us.
Remember, every marriage is intended to model the relationship of Christ and His body; the church. (Ephesians 5:25-28). However, God cannot force you to marry anyone. The choice is yours to make. That doesn’t mean that people should sin presumptuously because someone will extend grace, kindness, and mercy. (Romans 6:1-2). Sexual sin destroys your soul.
Proverbs 6:32-33
He who commits adultery lacks sense; he who does it destroys his soul. He will get wounds and dishonor, and his disgrace will not be wiped away.
Related: Does God tell you who to marry?
The concept of new creation.
All of us have fallen short of the glory of God in various ways. You may not have ever fornicated, watched porn, or indulge in other terrible sins. However, you may be a whore in your heart. Perhaps you have an issue with lust, hatred, envy, and much more. Therefore, you are no better than the fornicators.
The Bible teaches in 2 Corinthians 5:17 that those who are in Christ Jesus are a new creation (transformed physically and spiritually) and that the old has passed away. This individual’s spirit has been regenerated and brought to life by the power of The Holy Spirit. The person is now clothed in the garment of God’s salvation, mercy, and love through Christ our redeemer.
Even though you had lost your virginity, God has restored something much better in your life through Christ. Of course, you will have to deal with the consequences of losing your virginity, however, you are no longer condemned; for there is no more condemnation for those who are in Christ Jesus. (Romans 8:1-2).
You now walk in wholeness, peace of heart and mind, and filled with the joy of The LORD. No one in the flesh can meet the righteous requirements of the law by his deeds. That’s why Christ came to destroy the works of the flesh in order that the requirements of the law might be fulfilled in us who no longer walk in carnality but in the spirit. (Romans 8:3-4).
Related: How to know the will of God.
Mercy prevails over judgment.
You should never view your partner based on their sinful past. They are no longer that old person anymore. Love demands that mercy and grace be extended before judgment. Hence, mercy will always prevail over God’s judgment. When the law demands justice, God looks at His Son, the lamb that was slain, and grants you a second chance.
Remember, God is patient. And the Bible says that God is love, therefore love is also patient. (1 John 4:8, 1 Corinthians 13:4). That’s why God has not killed you yet because He is long-suffering waiting for you to repent. (Romans 2:4).
James 2:13
For judgment is without mercy to one who has shown no mercy. Mercy triumphs over judgment.
We are all undeserving of God’s grace.
We are all undeserving of Christ’s sacrifice, for none of us can please God by our carnal efforts, nor give to God the price of his soul. (Psalms 49:7-9). The Bible declares that it is by the grace of God that we have been saved, not by our deeds. So, if you think being a virgin qualifies you for the grace and righteousness of God, then you are wrong. None of that counts.
Remember, being a virgin is for your own benefit, not God’s. Hence, you should never take pride in that, but in Christ who knew no sin but became sin that we sinners might be counted worthy of God’s righteousness. (2 Corinthians 5:21). Therefore, the righteousness we have is not ours, it is imparted on us through Christ.
1 Corinthians 15:10
But by the grace of God, I am what I am, and his grace to me was not without effect. No, I worked harder than all of them —yet not I, but the grace of God that was with me.
Understanding the power of redemption.
Christ came for the wicked and lost sheep, and not for the self-righteous fellow. And the Bible encourages us to have the mind and attitude that was in Christ, who stretched His arm and ushered us who are undeserving into His glorious Kingdom.
God is able to restore anyone if they are willing and transform their lives into beauty. He makes the crooked straight and the ugly beautiful.
Related: Should Christians send nudes?
What the Bible teaches about premarital sex.
Sex before marriage is forbidden as it is an abuse of God’s given gift in marriage. It bounds you to someone you are not in covenant with, bringing with it a series of consequences.
Sexual purity is for our benefit and is a form of worship to God in our singleness. Just as sec is the highest form of worship to God in marriage. This explains why the enemy hates sexual purity and seeks to tempt Christians to sin.
Every time you indulge in promiscuity, you are destroying your soul. For the soul that sins shall die. (Ezekiel 18:4). Sexual sin also deprives you of the opportunity to enjoy and have a fulfilling marriage due to strange past sexual experiences.
A myth about virginity.
With all the hype, you’d think the number of virgins in the world was rapidly declining. And yet the opposite is true. Just as God told Elijah that he had preserved for himself seven thousand prophets in Israel who had never bowed their knees to Baal. [1 Kings 19:18]. Do not be discouraged by what is happening around you, know that God is faithful and has someone special for you somewhere.
I know this article is getting to the heart of a topic that is very close to home for many of us. In a society that seems to judge or have the “better than thou” attitude, this blog is an effort to help you see things in a different light. I hope you find it useful in your day-to-day relationship with your spouse or significant other.
Can you marry someone who is not a virgin? What do you think? Let me know your opinion in the comment section below.
