What are some Basic ingredients for a successful Christian marriage?
They say that a happy marriage is one of the most fulfilling experiences in life. Of course, this does not just happen. Successful marriages are the result of many years of hard work. We hear about marriages around us failing every day. The key to marriage is not only about falling in love with someone.
Your approach to your marriage must be based on love + respect. There are many things you can do to be the best spouse to your partner. So here are some important keys to a successful marriage and they should be practiced each day.
1. Communicate your love.
Communicating your love to your spouse is the most important thing you need to do if you want to keep your marriage successful. Your spouse needs to hear the words: “I love you.”
Many people take love for granted because they assume that it will always be there. They don’t realize that love needs to be nurtured and communicated. You must tell your spouse how much he or she means to you, and act it out.
The idea that love will conquer all is a common fallacy. It is not hard to see why this happens. People who are deeply in love often feel like they can conquer the world, and they often do. But the fact of the matter is, when it comes to marriage, both parties need to work towards a successful relationship.
Related: How to revive dying love in marriage.
2. Focus on a shared goal.
You are in love and you’re ready to spend the rest of your lives together, right? But what happens when you are not in love anymore? What if you are not in love with the person you promised to spend the rest of your life with? After the wedding and the honeymoon, the real world starts. You are now a married couple.
Even if your spouse loves you and you love your spouse, it is not always easy being married. For a marriage to be successful, you need to work at it and make time for each other. This can be a challenge for many couples.
Many people think that a happy marriage is all about love, romance, and passion. Sure, those are wonderful things to have in a marriage, but there are other important aspects of a successful marriage. One of the most important keys to a successful marriage is to work on a shared goal.
A great example is the relationship between a husband and a wife. They are each responsible for their own actions, but they are also responsible for the actions of their spouse.
This is especially true when it comes to things like finances and parenting. If one spouse is mismanaging finances so much that it is almost impossible to pay bills, the other spouse needs to step in and help. If one spouse is not paying attention to a child’s homework or school projects, the other spouse needs to step in. The point is that a shared goal is something that the two spouses should work on and focus on.
Related: Vision in a relationship.
3. Consider your partner to be better than you.
Even Christian marriages fail due to one partner’s obsession with themselves, their needs, and their attention. However, this should not be the case. Couples should be eager to find out their partner’s needs and seek to meet them.
The relationship should not be one-sided, that is one person is always the one to show they care and put effort to save the marriage. Consider your partner’s need to be of more importance than your own, remember love is a matter of giving not receiving.
Philippians 2:3-5 Do nothing from selfish ambition or conceit but in humility count others more significant than yourselves. Let each of you look not only to his own interests but also to the interests of others. Have this mind among yourselves, which is yours in Christ Jesus...
4. It takes effort to be in a good relationship.
Any couple will tell you that marriage is a mixture of happiness and hard work. Even the happiest and most perfect couples have their bad days when they argue and disagree. But the thing is, successful couples know how to make up after a fight, and they do it by following a few simple rules. That is why these ingredients are key to a happy relationship, guaranteed to help any couple improve their marriage.
5. Be yourself and don’t compare yourself to others.
Sometimes problems in a marriage can seem so huge they seem unsolvable. The fact is, most of the time, the problems are not as big as they seem. It is often the way we react to the problem that makes it seem bigger than it is. In order for a marriage to work, both spouses have to work at it. There is no magic formula for a happy marriage. It takes work, love, patience, and understanding.
The first step to making your marriage successful is to stop comparing yourself to others. If you want your marriage to be a success, you have to be yourself. Stop trying to be someone you are not. There is no one else on this earth exactly like you, so do not waste your time trying to be like someone else.
Related: What not to do after a breakup.
6. Put your phone down and be present.
Putting your phone down and being present is hard to do, especially at a young age. We have grown up with this technology and we have become dependent on it. If you are in a relationship and would like to have a successful marriage, you have to put your phone down and be present.
When you are with your spouse and you have your phone in your hand, it creates a shadow of doubt in your spouse’s mind. They worry that you are texting someone else or maybe even looking at other women or men on social media. When you are with your spouse, you need to be present. Focus on the relationship you have with your spouse and put your phone aside.
I know most of you after a long day of work, probably want to relax and unwind. And there is nothing more relaxing than sitting on the couch and taking a break while watching TV or looking at your phone, right? But if you are in a relationship, it is important to give your full attention to your partner — even when it is not a good time.
If you are in the middle of an argument and your partner asks you to give him your full attention, it is important that you do so. Sometimes it is hard to just sit back, relax and enjoy your partner’s company.
Your mind might be telling you that you are too tired, or you would rather just relax and do something else, but if your relationship means everything to you, you’ll put your phone away and give your partner your undivided attention.
7. Do not give up on your marriage.
Marriage is the most important decision you will ever make. It requires a lot of work, but it is worth it. The average divorce rate in the United States is 50%, and that is only based on the number of people who get divorced. Many more marriages do not last as long as people think they will.
Many of these failed marriages leave the couple with a lot of regrets. If you have a great marriage, you are lucky. The truth is, most people do not. Most people do not work on their marriage enough. Marriage takes a lot of work to make it last. It is not something that just happens. It takes dedication, commitment, and a lot of love.
When you get married, you might feel like you have got it all figured out. You have got the person you are in love with. You have got the party planned. You have got a white dress or a black tuxedo. You have got the flowers and the cake and the venue. You’ve got the rings. A lot of people think that just because they are married, everything will just fall into place and they will live happily ever after.
Or they think that just because they have got the love of their life, they will live happily ever after. But just like anything in life, marriage requires a lot of work. In fact, it requires more work than any other “job” you’ll have in your lifetime. To have a successful marriage, both you and your spouse need to do your part.
It is not just about being in love and spending time together and having great sex. It’s about working hard to make sure that your marriage is healthy, loving, and successful. If your marriage has issues, please consider dedicating it to God for protection.
Related: Is oral sex safe for Christian couples?
8. Maintain an active role in your children’s lives.
If you have children, you have a job. It is a 24/7/365 job that requires your attention, your time, and your love. And if you are the parent of a teenager, that job is even tougher.
But there is a big difference between being a parent and being a parent who is actively involved in his or her child’s life. The active parent is one who is involved in the daily activities of his or her kids’ lives.
He or she knows what’s going on with their friends and activities, attends school activities and events, is present at team sports events, monitors their Internet use, and calls or texts them throughout the day to check in and make sure everything is OK.
Being active in your kids’ lives is not just the right thing to do, but it’s also good for your children, too. If you are not actively engaged in your child’s life, then you are missing out on the best parts of being a parent. So, get out there and have a little fun with your kids.
9. Cultivate the relationship you have with each other.
It’s easy to get caught up in the daily grind and forget the things that matter most. As you grow older and have more responsibilities, it is easy to lose track of the things that are most important in life. But you cannot forget the most important relationship you have: the one you have with your spouse. There is a lot to be said about maintaining a healthy relationship that is based on love and respect.
The two of you are a team and you need to do your best to take care of each other. Love each other. There is nothing more important than the love you share. Don’t take it for granted. Respect each other. Respect is harder than love, moreover, it is the cornerstone of a relationship and it makes a huge difference in the way your marriage will function. Love is a feeling; respect is a choice. Make the right choice.
Respect is the foundation of a healthy marriage. If you have respect for each other, you’ll have a healthy relationship. But, if you find yourself arguing with your spouse or getting angry at him or her, then it is time to come back to the basics. You can’t allow your marriage to become a dictatorship or a battlefield. You have to work on your marriage every day if you want it to grow.
10. Set aside time to make sure your relationship is important.
For a happy marriage, it is essential to keep the spark going. If a romance dies, so does the marriage. But a marriage works best when both partners make it a priority.
The couple that plans a romantic getaway together, does something fun together, and celebrates their relationship with a daily “I love you,” are all more likely to be successful. Husbands and wives who pet, touch, and engage with each other are more satisfied with their marriages and more likely to stay together.
So, what makes a good marriage? Is it a house? A nice car? Two weeks of vacation per year? The answer is, none of these things. A good marriage is two people working together as a team, making life better for each other. And that is what you need to do every day.
11. Actively listen and ask questions.
One of the biggest components of a healthy marriage is communication. But what is communication? Is it just talking and listening? No, communication also involves understanding, empathy, and resolving conflict. Communication is a two-way street. And it is not just about talking and listening; it is about understanding, empathy, and resolving conflict.
Active listening is a listening technique that involves showing your partner that you are interested in what they are saying and that you are taking in the information they are sharing with you. One way to do this is to repeat back to them what they just said to confirm you understood them.
It is something we may take for granted as we listen to our friends, parents, or children. But we rarely stop to listen to our spouse or partner. We often think that we are being great listeners because we are giving our undivided attention and not interrupting them.
However, many times we are not actually listening to the words that are being said. We may be thinking about what we are going to say next or what we have to do after the conversation.
The words may be coming in and out of our ears without us really hearing what is being said. It is important to actively listen to your spouse. This means we need to be present in the conversation, looking at our spouse and fully hearing what is being said.
It also means that we need to ask questions about what was said and clarify if necessary. We can do this by restating what was said, or asking if that is what was meant. This will show our spouses that we are truly listening to them.
