The topic of body count and its implications on relationships has long been a subject of debate. Recently, a discussion on whether a man should date a woman with a high body count sparked a thoughtful examination of this sensitive issue.
This article delves into the complexities surrounding body count, repentance, personal growth, and the challenges of relationships, offering a nuanced exploration of the question: Should you date someone with a high body count?
Disclaimer: This article is inspired by Richard and Brittni De La Mora
The Stigma Surrounding High Body Count
A clip from “The Whatever Podcast” featuring a discussion about Britney, a former adult film star who married a Christian man after repenting and turning her life around, highlights the stigma associated with a high body count.
Richard posits that while forgiveness and redemption are possible, the likelihood of a Christian man pursuing a relationship with someone having a high body count, without significant personal transformation, is low.
A Male Perspective on Dating Someone with a High Body Count
From a male perspective, Richard shares his personal experience of being in a relationship with Britney, who had been in the adult film industry for seven years.
He emphasizes that his decision to pursue the relationship was heavily influenced by Britney’s repentance, her year-long hiatus from dating to focus on healing, and her commitment to honoring God with her body. This transformation was a “green flag” for him, indicating her value for herself and her desire to change.
A key factor in considering a relationship with someone who has a high body count is whether they have truly repented and changed their lifestyle.
“…it all depends if they have truly repented… Britney… was getting her heart healed… she took a year off of dating, she went through the process, she went through therapy, she had accountability and she was working on her heart.”
Hypocrisy in Judging Body Count
It’s crucial to address the often-present double standard when discussing body count.
“I think it’s hypocritical if it’s only the women that we look at with a high body count and not a male.”
The discussion also touches upon the hypocrisy often present in judging body count, particularly the double standard applied to men and women. Richard recounts a conversation with a friend who deemed a woman with a body count over 10 as unsuitable for a relationship, yet had himself slept with over 30 people.
This highlights the importance of applying consistent standards regardless of gender when considering a partner’s sexual history.
The Importance of Repentance and Personal Growth
Richard underscores the significance of genuine repentance and personal growth in considering a relationship with someone having a high body count. It is not merely the number that matters, but the individual’s willingness to confront their past, seek healing, and adopt a new, more mindful approach to relationships.
This transformation can open up the possibility of a meaningful connection with someone who values and respects their newfound commitment to change.
Challenges of Dating Someone with a High Body Count
While redemption and change are possible, it’s important to acknowledge the challenges that may come with dating someone with an extensive sexual past:
- Emotional baggage
- Potential trust issues
- Societal judgment
- Dealing with the partner’s past experiences
Richard candidly admits:
“…in full transparency, it is not easy being with somebody who has a high body count.”
The Role of Love and Commitment
Despite the challenges, love can be a powerful force in overcoming past issues. Richard emphasizes:
“…when you truly love someone, you know, you will go in The Valleys with them, you will go through the hard times with them, you will go in the struggle with them.”
Richard emphasizes the power of unconditional love and acceptance in overcoming the obstacles associated with a high body count. Choosing to love someone with a complex past requires a deep commitment to understanding, patience, and the belief in the person’s transformation.
This love is not about ignoring the past but about acknowledging the person’s growth and their newfound values.
The Importance of Personal Growth
For those with a high body count who are seeking a committed relationship, personal growth and transformation are crucial. This includes:
- Taking time for self-reflection
- Seeking therapy or counseling
- Building a support system
- Aligning actions with new values
Making an Informed Decision
Ultimately, the decision to date someone with a high body count is deeply personal. It requires:
- Open and honest communication
- Self-reflection on one’s own values and boundaries
- Consideration of long-term compatibility
- Willingness to work through potential challenges
Hope for Those with a High Body Count
To individuals with a high body count who may feel marginalized or discouraged from seeking meaningful relationships;
“There is somebody out there… if you have repented and you have changed your ways, there’s somebody out there that’s going to see you as a new creation in Christ.”
- Don’t marginalize yourself: Your past does not define your worth or your potential for a fulfilling relationship.
- Don’t limit yourself: Believe in the possibility of change and the existence of someone who will see beyond your past.
- Don’t settle: Wait for someone who accepts and loves you for who you are, past and present.
Conclusion
The question of whether to date someone with a high body count doesn’t have a one-size-fits-all answer. It depends on personal values, the capacity for forgiveness, and the willingness to work through potential challenges. What’s most important is that both partners are honest about their past, committed to their present relationship, and aligned in their values moving forward.
It is crucial to approach this topic with empathy, understanding, and a consistent set of values, avoiding hypocrisy and judgment. Ultimately, the power of unconditional love and acceptance can overcome even the most daunting obstacles, leading to profound and transformative relationships.
