10 pros and cons of being a single mother

Having been raised by a single mother, today I will be sharing my thoughts of what I have observed. To begin with, women are a special part of the creation and the universe at large. They are created with an inherent potential that only resides in them alone. Unlike their male counterparts, they have this unique ability to do things and even solve critical problems.

They are outstanding problem solvers. Even though they are blamed for creating most of the problem, it is not true. Humans in their fallen nature are responsible for such. Their motives are rooted in evil and selfish gain. Consequently, they have become the greatest nightmare and catastrophe to their progress.

It is true to say that two make each other warm or two have a better reward for whatever they do (Ecclesiastes 4:9-12). However, in the 21st century, we have seen a rapid increase in single parenthood, especially single mothers. They are many reasons which are contributing to this state of affairs. Among them are an increase in divorce cases and the need for freedom. This is a result of the increased cases of domestic violence in the recent past.

If you conduct your research, you will find out that most families are led by single mothers. The enemy has destroyed the potential of men to lead families. This has greatly contributed to an increase in single parenthood. The head is the seat of governance where leadership is exercised. The enemy knows this fact and that is why he is at work to destroy men who are the head of the family. 

Women have had no other option but to stand up and claim back the place of leadership. As a result, women have found themselves as the leader of most families. They have cheeped in to take the place of the men as most men have become ineffective. It is not sinful for women to lead the family as single mothers.

It is not God’s intention for such to happen, however, God understands the circumstances we find ourselves in. Women should rise and claim back what the enemy stole from them in the garden of Eden. To claim back authority alongside their husbands.

I am not advocating for single parenthood. No…. don’t get me wrong. However, having been raised by a single mother I am praising single mothers for the good work they are doing. Raising a family, schooling your kids, and meeting each of their needs is not a joke. It takes the hand of God. God intended that marriage should be between a man and a woman.

However, due to sin, single parenthood is a consequence of our fallen nature. That is why every family needs Jesus as their rock and foundation for them to stand.

After divorcing my stepdad 18 years ago, my mother had no option but to work harder to raise the three of us. I confess it has not been an easy journey for her. However, she chose to entrust God with her care. God has been so faithful this far. As a single mother, she had to venture into the marketplace to find her place as an entrepreneur.

With the help of God, she became stronger and wiser every day and managed to find a stable ground to operate from. She even ended up dominating the market.

As a Christian family, our mother taught us reliance on God and His Holy Spirit. Every time life gave her blows, she could turn to him for strength and comfort. God has been our greatest comforter. You can never make it as a single mother without God’s help and grace. It has to be God and if not, there is no other to turn to. Friends will always disappoint you. Jesus is the only true friend that sticks closer than any other friend or even your brother. 

The pros of being a single mother.

1. The greatest advantage of being a single mother is freedom. Freedom to do what you desire the most. You can make your own decision and implement them with little or no intrusion. You have the freedom to be yourself.
2. The ability to exercise authority and your will. As a single mother, you can pursue your dreams. You have space, a conducive environment to do what you think is best for you and your children. 
3. It offers a better platform for you to be devoted to the LORD. You have the privilege to get much intimate with the LORD.
4. The process trains you to become a better version of yourself. You learn how to manage stress and to handle hardship and other challenges of single parenthood. It helps you to be independent.

Related: The importance of a Christian father in the life of a child.

The cons of single parenthood.

From the beginning, God intended that the institute of marriage should be between a man and woman. However, single parenthood is a consequence of our fallen nature. God intends that every woman finds a good husband. However, as I had said earlier, God understands the circumstances we always find ourselves in this life. He is always willing to help us through hardships.

Single mothers face a lot of challenges that could be otherwise solved if they were with their husbands. 

1. As a single mother, you deny your children the ability to ever experience a father’s affection.
2. When you break down emotionally you need a shoulder to lean on lest your house falls apart. For this reason, you need someone by your side. Someone to encourage, strengthen and take good care of you.
3. Children raised by single mothers especially girls, always have a greater yearning for a father figure in their lives. This affects them to a greater extend. Most of these girls end up in relationships with the motive of finding a father figure from their boyfriends. It’s sad to say that they rarely find that which they seek.
4. I do not dispute the fact that single mothers are wise and strong. However, there are things that children desire to learn from a father. Those children desire to hear the authoritative voice of a father.
5. Ladies raised by single mothers find it difficult to adopt a family setting and to submit to their husbands. This is because they are used to making their own decision without any intrusion. Marriage to them seems to be oppressive and a prison. They desire to be independent.
6. On the other hand, men raised by single mothers are better husbands. However, there is the possibility of them try to force their wives to resemble their mothers. This is a burden to the wife.

Conclusion

Being a mother, especially a single mother is not easy. It always takes the hand of God. Having discussed the pros and cons of single parenthood, one should take time to make a balanced decision lest they jeopardize their lives and that of their children. God’s intention is for your marriage to succeed if only you will entrust Him with it.

When marriage gets tough, seek Him for help. He can transform your husband or even your wife. Divorce is not the solution. However, if you ever leave, always know that God can sustain you and your children. He understands you better and the circumstances you find yourself in.

To all single mothers, may God strengthen you and comfort you in times of need. You are the women who are transforming lives. For that reason, you are very significant and unignorable.